Death, Taxes, and Shaving My Legs

Until I started kindergarten, I was unaware that not all children have hairy legs. I’ve since speculated that I’m a distant relative of Sasquatch (which would also explain my big feet.)

In 1998, I was told that Adriamycin/Cytoxan would completely eradicate all head and body hair. I kept waiting, and waiting, and waiting — but my legs remained hirsute even though my head was completely bald. If ever I needed proof about the unfairness of the universe, this was it.

When my 2016 oncologist warned that I’d lose all hair, my main thought was, “Whatever.” I’ve been down this road, and it’s littered with used disposable razors.

My head hair started falling out fifteen days after I started chemo. I shaved my Sasquatch legs. Two weeks later, I noticed that leg hair had stopped growing at the three-day stubble mark.

I made peace with my stubble decades ago, and had no intention of shaving now. If a three-day beard is fashionable on men, then why not my legs?

I ignored the issue for two months, and wore shorts every day.

Yesterday I noticed that the bristles had thinned out to half their former volume, but I had several dozen mysteriously long hairs. Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap — I knew I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up. So I shaved.

In theory, I can hide my razors until the chemo is out of my system for two months, late September or early October.

In reality, the first thing to grow back will be those damn leg hairs.

Author: MeredithLaskow

Artist, writer, and unrepentant nerd girl.

10 thoughts on “Death, Taxes, and Shaving My Legs”

  1. Merry – That’s so funny! I remember when we were kids you were often in the bathroom shaving your legs. I was fortunate to not have the hairy leg thing. lol.

    Glad you can still joke aboot this. Laughter is very good medicine! Stay positive and strong. Sending love and prayers your way! ~Iris

    1. Iris, I think I spent half of my life shaving until I finally said, the hell with the stubble. Long pants solve the problem in winter but are just not an option during our 6-month summers.

  2. Do you have 6 mos. summers?? We have the sum of about 1 month. If I want to be generous, thankful and positive, as we are all supposed to be then, we get about 2 1/2 months of what could be called summer! And yes, I battle with leg hair growth too. In the winter, I let it go. You made me laugh, Meredith? I am getting to the stage to where I don’t see the stuff? But I Do see my chin beard and my peach like fur on my cheeks ??

    1. Iva, we can get 100-degree temps (I think that’s 38 C) from March through October, although July through October is most common. Our winter temps are literally what you get in the summer, so I guess it’s how you define summer lol. At least the annoying chin hairs are gone for now.

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